Unhappy because I couldn’t get pregnant. Unhappy because we’d stopped being partners and become two people obsessed with the same impossible goal. And Cynthia doesn’t want children. The cruelty of it was breathtaking. Austin didn’t want to go through fertility treatments with her, but he was perfectly willing to date a younger single woman who wasn’t even interested in children.
The issue had never been about having a family. “So, you get to have a classy, unencumbered life after all,” she said quietly. “Amanda, it’s not about that. It’s exactly about that. You didn’t want to go through the work of having children with me, but you’ll date a woman you think has more class. You didn’t want to fix our fertility problems, but you’ll find someone for whom it’s not even a topic of discussion.
That’s not fair. Fair. Austin, you let me blame myself for 3 years. You made me feel like my body was broken, like I was the problem, like I wasn’t woman enough to give you what you wanted. But instead of working through it with me, you found someone else who represented the easy, classy life you wanted without any of the work. It’s not that simple.
It’s exactly that simple. You used our fertility problems as an excuse to leave me for someone more convenient. Amanda, I think we should talk about moving forward with making this separation permanent. The word permanent echoed in her head. You want a divorce? I think it’s what’s best for both of us. Best for both of us or best for you and Cynthia. I want you to be happy, Amanda.
And I don’t think you can be happy with me anymore. That’s not your decision to make. Actually, it is. I can’t stay in a marriage that isn’t working just because you’re afraid to let go. 3 days later, divorce papers were delivered to her door. The divorce papers were 37 pages of legal language that essentially said Austin wanted everything and she deserved nothing.
According to his lawyer, their house was Austin’s separate property since he bought it before marriage. Their joint savings account was mostly Austin’s contributions since he made more money. Even her car was technically in his name because he’d gotten a better financing rate when they bought it. She stared at those papers in her empty kitchen, realizing that 8 years with Austin had left her with almost nothing to show for it except debt from fertility treatments that were apparently pointless.
Her lawyer was a tiredl looking woman named Mrs. Cole who specialized in divorce cases. I have to be honest with you, Amanda,” she said during their first meeting. “Since you were only married 3 years, and most assets were his before marriage, you’re looking at a very modest settlement. Maybe enough for a security deposit on an apartment and a few months of living expenses.
What about spousal support? You’re young, healthy, college educated. The court will expect you to support yourself pretty quickly.” She thought about the last 3 years she’d spent focused entirely on getting pregnant instead of building a career. She’d been working part-time at a nonprofit, making barely enough to cover her personal expenses, while Austin handled the mortgage and major bills.
She’d been playing house instead of building a life. How long do I have to find somewhere to live? Austin’s being generous by giving you 60 days. Legally, he could probably get you out sooner since the house is his. generous. Austin was being generous by not immediately kicking out the wife he’d abandoned. The first sign that Austin was becoming someone she didn’t recognize came during their second mediation session.
She’d asked if she could keep some of the furniture they bought together, and Austin’s lawyer had responded by listing every item Austin wanted to retain, which was basically everything except her personal belongings. “I’d like to keep the dining room set,” she said quietly. We picked it out together for our first anniversary.
